好吧 让我们再尝试一下 All right, let's try somethin' else.
嗯 从上边开始 预备 一二三 Uh, from the top. Ready. One, two, three.
一二三四 One, two, three, four.
保持节奏 Stay on the beat.
二三四 Two, three, four.
那是C调 喇叭 That's C-sharp, horns.
二 三 我看着你呢 迦勒 Two, three... I see you, Caleb.
雷切尔 现在到你 Rachel, now you.
G先生 我忘了我的萨克斯了 Forgot my sax, Mr G.
好吧 她忘了萨克斯 现在到你了 康妮 Okay, she forgot her sax. And now, all you, Connie.
去吧！ Go for it!
快去 Way to go!
等一下等一下 你们都在笑什么？ Hang on, hang on. What are y'all laughing at?
康妮对此有些困惑 So Connie got a little lost in it.
这是一件好事 That's a good thing.
听着 我记得有一次 Look, I remember one time
我爸爸带我去了这个爵士俱乐部 my dad took me to this jazz club,
那是我想去的最后一个地方 and that's the last place I wanted to be.
但是后来我看到这个家伙 But then I see this guy,
他当时在他用四分弦演奏这些和弦 and he's playing these chords with fourths on it,
然后有一些 and then with the minor...
喔喔喔 Oh, oh, whoo.
然后他发出了内心的声音 就像他 Then he adds the inner voices, and it's like he's...
就像他在唱歌一样 It's like he's singing.
我发誓 接下来我知道 And I swear, the next thing I know...
好像像他从舞台上飘浮下来一样 ...it's like he floats off the stage.
那家伙迷失在音乐里 That guy was lost in the music.
不仅他迷失了 他让我们其余的人都迷失了 He was in it, and he took the rest of us with him.
我想学习 And I wanted to learn...
如何成为所描述的那样 ...how to talk like that.
那时候我知道 That's when I knew...
我是为此而生的 I was born to play.
康妮明白我的意思对吧 康妮？ Connie knows what I mean. Right, Connie?
我12 I'm 12.
我马上回来 练习音阶吧 I'll be right back. Practise your scales.
抱歉打扰 加德纳先生 Sorry to interrupt, Mr Gardner.
你帮我个忙 You're doing my ears a favour.
嘿！ -但是 不是你 你很不错 - Hey! - Not you, though, you're good.
他不是 He's not.
校长阿罗约 我能为你做什么？ What can I do for you, Principal Arroyo?
我想亲自传达好消息 I wanted to deliver the good news personally.
没有更多的兼职适合你了 No more part-time for you.
你现在是我们的专职乐队老师 You're now our full-time band teacher.
包括就业保障 Job security.
医疗保险养老金 Medical insurance. Pension.
哇很好 很好 Wow. That's, uh, great.
欢迎来到M.S.70之家 乔 Welcome to the M.S. 70 family, Joe. Permanently.
谢谢 Thanks.
这些年来 我的祈祷得到了回应 After all these years, my prayers have been answered.
全职工作 A full-time job.
打工人 通过 Working man, coming through.
是的 妈妈 但我 Yeah, Mom, but I...
你要告诉他们 对吧？ You're going to tell them yes, right?
妈妈 别担心 我有一个计划 Don't worry, Mom, I got a plan.
你总是有计划 You always got a plan.
也许你也需要制定备份计划 Maybe you need to have a backup plan, too,
当你的计划失败时 for when your plan falls through.
备份计划总能派上用场 A backup plan never hurts.
乔伊 我们很努力为你提供教育 Joey, we didn't struggle giving you an education
所以你这个中年男人 so you could be a middle-aged man
才能在我的商店洗内衣 washing your underwear in my shop.
四处走动 尽管裤子上还有一个洞 Walking around with a hole in his pants.
是的 但是这份工作 你将能够 - Yeah, but... - With this job, you'll be able
把那些无聊的笑容抛在身后 to put that dead-end gigging behind you.
上帝知道我们在这个世界上需要更多的老师 And Lord knows we need more teachers in this world.
想想吧 And just think,
演奏音乐将最终成为你真正的职业 playing music will finally be your real career.
所以你要告诉他们是吧？ So you're going to tell them yes, right?
请回答是 Please say yes.
是的 当然 Yeah, definitely.
好 Good.
你好吗？ Hello?
你好吗 G先生？ How you been, Mr G?
呃 我是库里拉蒙特拉蒙特·贝克 Uh, it's Curley. Lamont. Lamont Baker.
嘿 库里！嘿 很高兴听到你的声音 伙计 Hey, Curley! Hey, good to hear your voice, man.
嗯听着你现在可以叫我乔 库里 Uh... Listen. You can call me Joe now, Curley.
我不再是你的老师了 I'm not your teacher anymore.
哦 好的 加德纳先生 Oh, okay, Mr Gardner.
嘿 我是多萝西娅·威廉姆斯四重奏的新鼓手 Hey, look, I'm the new drummer in the Dorothea Williams Quartet,
今晚我们将有一场“半音符”的演出拉开序幕 and we're kickin' off our tour with a show at The Half Note tonight.
多萝西娅·威廉姆斯！你在跟我开玩笑吗？ Dorothea Williams! Are you kidding me?
你在跟我开玩笑吗？恭喜 老兄哇！ Are you kidding me? Congratulations, man. Wow!
我就是死也值了 I would die a happy man
如果我能和多萝西娅·威廉姆斯一起表演的话 if I could perform with Dorothea Williams.
哦 那可能是你的幸运日 Oh, well, this could be your lucky day.
哇 他在那里一库里 - Whew, there he is. - Hey, Curley.
莱昂逃离城镇确实使我们陷入困境 伙计 Leon skipping town really put us in a bind, man.
是的嗯 我敢打赌 -很高兴你做到了 - Yeah. Uh, I'll bet. - I'm glad you made it.
我的伙计毕晓普说 去年他在布鲁克林还挨着你坐来着 My boy, Bishop, said he sat in with you on a set last year in Brooklyn.
说你很棒 Said you were great.
好吧 你知道 对于一家咖啡店来说 Well, you know, for a coffee shop.
嘿 多萝西娅 Hey, Dorothea.
这就是我跟你讲的猫咪 This is the cat I was telling you about.
我以前的中学乐队老师加德纳先生 My old middle school band teacher, Mr Gardner.
叫我乔 多萝西娅 Call me Joe, Dorothea.
呃嗯 我的意思是 威廉姆斯小姐 Uh... Uh, I mean, Miss Williams.
不必客气哇这真太了不起了 It's a pleasure. Wow. This is amazing.
呃 乔是雷·加德纳的儿子 Uh, Joe is Ray Gardner's son.
因此 我们现在只限于中学乐队老师 So, we're down to middle school band teachers now.
快点上课 教书 我们没有整体的时间去耗 Get on up here, Teach, we ain't got all day.
什么我们演奏什么？ What... What are we playin'?
嗯 对不起 Uh, sorry.
我在那儿划了个小圈 I zoned out a little back there.
乔·加德纳 你去过哪儿？ Joe Gardner, where have you been?
我去过中学乐队 I've been, uh, teaching, middle school band.
嗯 但是在周末 我 Uh, but on the weekends, I...
你有西装吗？ -嗯 - You got a suit? - Uh...
穿西装 教书 得穿个好西装 Get a suit, Teach. A good suit.
今晚回到这里首场演出在9:00 Back here tonight. First show's at 9:00.
声音检查时间是7:00 Soundcheck's at 7:00.
我们将看看你的情况 We'll see how you do.
好 Yes! Whoo-hoo!
爸爸 你看到了吗？那就是我说的！ You see that, Dad? That's what I'm talking about!
嘿 抬头 抬头 Hey, look up, look up.
你知道说什么来着吗？乔·加德纳！ You know what that's gonna say? Joe Gardner!
你永远不会相信刚刚发生的事情 You're never gonna believe what just happened.
我做到了我得到了演出是的 I did it. I got the gig. Yes!
我我知道 I... I know.
多萝西娅·威廉姆斯！你相信吗？ Dorothea Williams! Can you believe it?
嘿 朋友 你会受伤的！ Hey, pal, you're gonna get hurt!
不要告诉我妈妈好吗？ Just don't tell my mom about this. Okay?
别管上课了我现在与众不同了 Forget class. I'm in a different class.
我跟多萝西娅·威廉姆斯一起 哥们 I'm in a Dorothea Williams class, buddy.
你知道我在说什么？我 You know what I'm saying? I'm...
哇！抱歉！ Whoa! Sorry!
额 What the...
你好？ Hello?
怎么 What the...
嘿！嘿嘿嘿！你好！ Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hello!
你好 Hello.
哦 你叫什么名字 亲？ Oh, what's your name, honey?
呃 我是乔乔·加德纳 Uh, I'm Joe. Joe Gardner.
听着 我不应该在这里 Look, I'm not supposed to be here.
啊对你来说一定是突然的 Ah. Must have been sudden for you.
你看 乔 我今年106岁 You see, Joe, I'm 106 years old.
已经为此等待了很长时间 Been waiting a long time for this.
为了什么？超度 - For what? - The Great Beyond.
超度？ The Great Beyond?
像越过生命一样？是的 - As in, as in beyond life? - Yeah.
那不就是死亡吗？ That's death right there?
令人兴奋 不是吗？ Exciting, isn't it?
不 不 不 听着 No, no, no, listen.
今晚我有演出我现在不能死 I have a gig tonight. I can't die now.
好吧 我真的认为 Well, I really don't think
你对此不必有很多话要说 you have a lot to say about this.
是是的 是的 Yes. Yes, I do.
中枪的那一天 我并没有死 I'm not dying the very day I got my shot. I'm due.
哎呀 我迟到了 Heck, I'm overdue.
呃 嗯我要走了 Uh-uh, uh-uh. I'm outta here.
我认为你不应该那样做 I don't think you're supposed to go that way.
这不可能发生我今天可不能死 This can't happen. I'm not dyin' today.
我才刚刚重获新生呢 Not when my life just started.
那是什么？ What was that?
等等我还没死我得回去 Wait. I'm not finished. I gotta get back.
我不想死！ I don't wanna die!
我还没完蛋呢跑吧 I'm not done. I'm not done. Run!
为什么不跑？我不知道 - Why aren't you running? - I don't know.
-你们到底怎么回事？我不知道 - What's wrong with you people? - I don't know.
我还没死 I'm not done.
啊！ Ahh!
哦 我的天啊哦 我的天啊 Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness.
对不起对不起对不起 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Excuse me.
救命！我还没死我得回去 Help! I'm not done. I gotta get back.
哦 我的哦 我的天哪 Oh, my... Oh, my goodness.
什么？ What?
现在 大家伙们 Now, now, everyone,
我们给导师一些空间 let's give the mentor some room.
抱歉 新灵魂37 足够了 Sorry, new souls. 37, that's enough.
大家好 请看这里 -安静的土狼 - Hey, everyone, look here. - Quiet coyote.
嘘安静的土狼 Shh. Quiet coyote.
谁你是谁 Who... Who are you?
我与宇宙 I am the coming together
所有的量子场同在 of all quantised fields of the universe.
以弱小的人脑可以理解的形式出现 Appearing in a form your feeble human brain can comprehend.
-什么？ -你可以叫我杰瑞 - What? - You can call me Jerry.
杰瑞 好的 Jerry, okay.
呃 这是天堂吗？ Uh, hey, is this heaven?
不 No.
那是双曲棍球杆吗？ Is it H-E-double hockey sticks?
嘘安静的土狼 - Shh. Quiet coyote. - Hell.
回去很容易 It's easy to get turned around.
这还不是超度这是超度之前 This isn't the Great Beyond. It's the Great Before.
超度之前？ The Great Before?
哦我们现在将其称为研讨 Oh. We call it the You Seminar now. Rebranding.
不 不你在这里！ No, no. You're here!
这是否意味着我已经死了？ Does this mean I'm dead?
还没 Not yet.
你的身体还在 Your body's in a holding pattern.
这很复杂 It's complicated.
我会让你回到你的小组 I'll get you back to your group.
来吧 小小的灵魂 站起来 Come on, little souls, get on up here.
欢迎来参加研讨 Welcome to the You Seminar.
你会受到款待 You are in for a treat.
嗯 这很奇怪这是什么？ - Mm, that's weird. - What is it?
计时结束了一什么鬼 - The count's off. - Excuse me?
有一个灵魂消逝了计时结束 There's a soul missing. The count's off.
额 Huh.
好吧 第一站是兴奋亭 Okay, first stop is the Excitable Pavilion.
你四随你去 You four. In you go.
你五 你们将超然你二 You five, you'll be aloof. And you two, why not?
哦等一下 Oh, wait a minute.
这就是人格的出处吗？ This is where personalities come from?
当然你认为这是人们与生俱来的吗？ Of course. Do you think people are just born with them?
那么 那么 他们如何到达地球的呢？ So, uh, how do they get to Earth, then?
好吧 他们使用地球作为门户 Well, they use the Earth portal.
当然 一旦他们拥有完整的人格 Once they get a complete personality, of course.
你好？你好？ Hello? Hello?
再见 Goodbye.
呜！ Whee!
哇哦 Whoo-hoo!
等等 等等 等等 Wait, wait, wait.
你肯定会迷失很多 You sure get lost a lot.
好的 导师 All righty, mentors.
在这里找到你的名字你好 杰瑞 - Just find your name here... - Hello, Jerry...
然后加入我们的行列 ...and join us inside.
为你找一个失散的导师 ...got a lost mentor for you.
谢谢 杰瑞 Thanks, Jerry.
呃 听着 我不确定我该不该在这 Uh, look, I'm not sure I'm supposed to be here.
我明白 I understand.
不是所有人都需要引导 Mentoring isn't for everyone.
比起欢迎你更新离开 You're more than welcome to opt out.
其实 再三考虑 Actually, on second thought,
你知道 指导听起来很有趣 you know, the mentoring sounds like fun.
很荣幸杰瑞将离开这 I'm glad to hear it. Jerry will take it from here.
谢谢 杰瑞直奔那边去找杰瑞 Thanks, Jerry. Head right on over there to Jerry.
谢谢杰瑞 Thank you, Jerry.
这里的每个人都叫杰瑞吗？ Is everyone here named Jerry?
祝好运！ Good luck!
杰瑞 我们遇到了问题 Jerry, we've got a problem.
哦 你好 特里 Oh, hello, there, Terry.
计时结束 The count's off.
我对此表示严重怀疑 I seriously doubt that.
数个世纪以来 计数一直没有减少 The count hasn't been off in centuries.
每天有151 000灵魂进入超度 151,000 souls go into the Great Beyond every day.
杰瑞 每分钟105.2灵魂 That's 105.2 souls per minute, Jerry.
每秒1.75个灵魂 1.75 souls per second.
我数了每一个 And I count every single one of 'em.
是的我知道 Yep. I'm aware.
杰瑞 这是我的工作 It's my job to keep track of this stuff, Jerry.
我是会计师 I'm the accountant.
我们都认为你做得很棒 And we all think you're doing a wonderful job,
不是吗？ -没错 - don't we, everyone? - Absolutely.
从这个家伙的位置看起来不错 Looks good from where this guy's standing.
我会说不 I'd say no.
我一直在数我现在正在数 I'm always counting. I'm counting right now.
自从我开始讲话以来 你眨了五次眼六次 You blinked five times since I started talking. Six.
对由于会计是你的工作 Right. Since accounting is your job,
你为什么不去解决问题呢？ why don't you figure out the problem?
也许我会太好了 - Maybe I will. - Wonderful.
再次问好 特里 Hello again, Terry.
不要跟我犯傻 Don't play dumb with me.
好的 我们开始 Okay, here we go.
你好 导师 Hello, there, mentors.
我是杰瑞 是你研讨会上的顾问 I'm Jerry, a counselor here at the You Seminar.
现在你已经不记得了 但是你以前来过这里 Now you don't remember it, but you've been here before.
但是不用担心 忘记创伤 But don't worry, forgetting the trauma of childbirth
是宇宙赠与的礼物之一 is one of the great gifts of the universe.
在你的研讨会上 Here at the You Seminar,
所有新灵魂都有独特的个性 all new souls are given unique and individual personalities.
我是一个乐于助人的阴谋论者 谨慎而又夸张 I'm an agreeable sceptic who's cautious yet flamboyant.
我如一个易怒的壁花 充满好奇 I'm an irritable wallflower who's dangerously curious.
我是一个极具机会主义的操纵狂 I'm a manipulative megalomaniac who's intensely opportunistic.
呵呵 这个可能很少见 Oh-ho, this one might be a handful.
但这是地球的问题 But that's Earth's problem.
你会注意到这些灵魂都缺少了某些东西 You'll notice these souls are all missing something.
这个地方发生了什么？ What goes in this spot?
好吧 这些灵魂需要他们的“火花” Well, these souls need their "spark".
那就是你进来的地方 And that's where you come in.
也许你会发现他们的火花 Maybe you will find their spark
在万物殿堂 in the Hall of Everything,
那是地球上任何事物都能激发灵感的地方 where literally anything on Earth could inspire.
也许你会喜欢你的殿堂 Or perhaps you'll prefer the Hall of You,
那儿有着你的鼓舞人心的生活中的精选时刻 featuring a selection of moments from your own inspiring life.
究竟是什么火花？ And just what is this spark?
我知道你们都很期待工作 I know you're all excited to get to work,
祝你们找到火花 so good luck finding the spark.
找到火花 Find the spark.
哇 真是有益 Wow, that was informative.
现在 是时候进行我最喜欢的计划了 Now, it's time for my favourite part of the programme,
使你的导师与你的灵魂伴侣相匹配 matching you mentors with your soul mates.
我们的第一位导师是玛丽亚·马丁内斯 Our first mentor is Maria Martinez.
玛丽亚 下来吧 Maria, come on down.
玛丽亚是一位罕见的疾病专家 Maria was a rare disease specialist
来自墨西哥大学 from the University of Mexico.
我治好了我治好了 I'm cured. I'm cured.
她会和我的最爱之一搭配 She'll be matched with one of my favourites,
灵魂编号108 210 121 415 soul number 108,210,121,415.
恭喜 Congratulations! Off you go.
我们的下一位导师是比约恩··伯根森 Our next mentor is Bjorn T. Börgensson.
鲍根森博士是世界著名的儿童心理学家 Dr Börgensson is a world-renowned child psychologist
他最近被授予诺贝尔奖 who was recently awarded a Nobel Prize.
我看到痛苦 死亡 破坏 I see pain, death, destruction.
现在怎么样？一只漂亮的蝴蝶 - How about now? - A pretty butterfly.
伯根森博士将与22号灵魂配对 Dr Börgensson will be matched with soul number 22.
哦 我们现在要开始讨论对不起 Oh, we're gonna get into this now. Excuse me.
22号 你现在就要脱离了这个维度 22, you come out of this dimension right now.
我得告诉你几次？ How many times do I have to tell you?
我不想去地球 I don't wanna go to Earth.
别再吵了22号 -我不想 - Stop fighting this, 22. - I don't wanna.
你会去地球 You will go to Earth
重获新生放了我吧！ - and have a life. - Make me!
22号在研讨会上已经有一段时间了 22 has been at the You Seminar for quite some time
并且有像甘地这样的著名导师 and has had such notable mentors as Gandhi,
还有亚伯拉罕·林肯和特蕾莎修女 Abraham Lincoln, and Mother Teresa.
我害她哭了 I made her cry.
别在意 Ignore that.
放我下来 Put me down.
布尔根森博士 我们很高兴你在这里 We're truly glad to have you here, Dr Börgensson.
荣幸地为22号回归地球做好准备 It is an honour having you prepare 22 for Earth.
我要让你祈祷自己长寿 I'm gonna make you wish you never died.
大多数人都希望如此 22号 Most people wish that, 22.
行了再见！ Off you go. Bye!
我们在哪？ Where are we?
那是很大的进步 That's great progress.
你一定很自豪吧一步步的 You should be very proud. Step by step.
为了庆祝博根森博士的工作 In celebration of Dr Börgensson's body of work,
我们很高兴向他颁发这份荣誉 we are pleased to present him this honorary...
在过去的几周中 我看到了这种增长 These past few weeks, I have seen such growth.
我想感谢这么多人 So many people I'd like to thank, of course.
好吧 我相信你的生活真棒 Okay, look, I'm sure your life was amazing
你做了很棒的事情 and you did amazing things,
但是这就是我们要做的 but here's what we're gonna do.
我们将在这里默默站立一会 We're gonna stand here in silence for a little bit,
然后我们回去 你说你尝试过 then we go back out, you say you tried,
我回望往生 而你去了超度 I go back to not living my non-life and you go to the Great Beyond.
不 听着 -随便聊聊 比约恩 - No, look. - Talk all you want, Bjorn.
无论如何 这是行不通的 It's not gonna work, anyway.
我有成千上万的导师失败了 他们现在都恨我 I've had thousands of mentors who failed and now hate me.
特蕾莎修女 Mother Teresa...
我对每个灵魂都有同情心 I have compassion for every soul.
除了你我不喜欢你 Except you. I don't like you.
哥白尼 Copernicus...
22号 世界不再围绕你旋转 The world doesn't revolve around you, 22.
穆罕默德阿里 Muhammad Ali...
你是最让人讨厌的人 You are the greatest pain in the butt.
玛丽·安托瓦内特 Marie Antoinette...
没有人可以帮助你！没有人！ Nobody can help you! Nobody!
谢谢 但是不用了 Thanks, but no thanks, Doc.
我已经了解了地球的一切 I already know everything about Earth,
这是不必要的麻烦 and it's not worth the trouble.
来吧 你不想填写通行证吗？ Come on, don't you want to fill out your pass?
你知道 我在这里很舒服 You know, I'm comfortable up here.
我有例行公事 I have my routine.
我漂浮在雾中 做数独难题 I float in mist, I do my Sudoku puzzles,
然后 例如 每周一次 and then, like, once a week,
他们让我参加了这些研讨会 they make me come to one of these You Seminars.
这不是很好 但是我知道会发生什么 It's not great, but I know what to expect.
听着 孩子 我可以对你实话实说吗 Look, kid, I'm not... Can I just be honest with you?
我不是比约恩·博根斯坦 I'm not Bjorn Borgenstein
或是其他的名字我甚至都不是导师 or whatever his name is. I'm not even a mentor.
不是导师？ Not a mentor?
啊 Ah...
这是逆向心理学 Reverse psychology.
医生 你真是个好人 You really are a good shrink, Doctor.
荣格已经尝试过了 Carl Jung already tried that.
别说话了！我昏昏的脑袋讨厌你！ Stop talking! My unconscious mind hates you!
有什么办法吗 Is there any way
在这个地方表现出不一样的生活吗？ to show a different life in this place?
等等你真的不是比约恩·博根斯坦吗？ Wait. You're really not Bjorn Börgensson?
这是我的人生 It's my life.
嗯 对不起 这是怎么回事？ Um, excuse me, what's going on here?
比纳卡呼气喷雾剂？便宜的科隆香水？ Binaca breath spray? Cheap cologne?
伙计 谁策划了这个展览？ Man, who curated this exhibit?
你干的 You did.
哦 我的天啊这是塞德里克的说唱团体不 Oh, my goodness. It's Cedric's rap group. No!
不 不要看这些东西让我们看看那 No, don't look at that stuff. Let's look over here.
爸爸 我不想走 Dad, I don't wanna go.
我不喜欢爵士乐 I don't like jazz.
黑色即兴音乐 Black improvisational music.
这是我们对美国文化的伟大贡献之一 It's one of our great contributions to American culture.
至少给它一个机会 乔伊 At least give it a chance, Joey.
这就是一切的开始 This is where it all started.
这是我爱上爵士乐的那一刻 This is the moment where I fell in love with jazz.
听那个 Listen to that.
看 乐曲只是让你出去的缘由 See, the tune is just an excuse to bring out the you.
这就是为什么我成为爵士音乐家 And that's why I became a jazz musician.
这不是我们想要的 It's not what we're looking for.
等一下 那不是我记得的样子 Wait a minute, that's not how I remember it going down.
有点东西再回来吧 Come back when you have something.
对不起 乔对不起 乔 - Sorry, Joe. - Sorry, Joe.
我们正在寻找与众不同的东西 We're looking for something different.
二三四 Two, three, four.
我的生活毫无意义 My life was meaningless.
不不不 No, no, no.
不 我不会接受 No, I will not accept this.
小子 给我那个徽章我要回到我的身体 Kid, give me that badge. I'm goin' back to my body.
哦 是的 当然给 Oh, yeah, sure. Here.
除非它成为地球通行证 否则我会坚持下去 Unless it becomes an Earth Pass, I'm stuck with it.
好吧 如果我能帮助你将其转换为地球通行证呢？ Well, what if I help you turn it into an Earth Pass?
那你愿意给我吗？ Will you give it to me then?
等等 Wait...
我从来没有想过我要跳过人生 I've never thought of that. I'd get to skip life.
所以 是的！ So, yes!
但是我们得先改变这件事 But we gotta get this thing to change first,
我从未能够改变这 and I've never been able to get it to change.
来吧我了解火花 Come on. I know all about sparks.
因为我的火花是钢琴 Because mine is piano.
真的吗？没别的什么吗？嗯 - Really? Nothin' at all? - Eh.
哦 不 不是爵士乐 只是音乐我不喜欢音乐的声 Oh, no, not jazz, just music. I don't like music sounds.
感觉有点太噪了 It feels like a little too much.
好吧 我不是这样出去的 Well, I'm not going out like this.
呃 万物殿在哪里？ Where's that, uh, Hall of Everything?
我马上回来 I'll be right back.
朋友 别超越自己 Don't get ahead of yourself, pal.
顺便说一句 你为什么听起来像个中年白人女士？ By the way, why do you sound like a middle-aged white lady?
我不是 I don't.
这全是幻想 -嗯？ - This is all an illusion. - Huh?
这整个地方都是假的 This whole place is a hypothetical.
如果我愿意 我听起来可能像这样 I could sound like this if I wanted to.
或听起来像这样 Or sound like this instead.
我甚至可以听起来像你 I could even sound like you.
生活是如此不公平 Life is so unfair.
我不想死有人叫流浪汉哇！ I don't wanna die. Somebody call the wambulance. Wah!
我只是用这种声音 因为它使人烦恼 I just use this voice because it annoys people.
这是非常有效的 It's very effective.
不用担心 没事的 Don't worry, they're fine.
你不能在这里粉碎灵魂 You can't crush a soul here.
那就是地球上生命的目的 That's what life on Earth is for.
很机智 Very witty.
好的我们到了 Okay. Here we are.
这是万物殿堂 This is the Hall of Everything.
哇！ Whoa!
是！ Yes!
哇！ -恭喜！ - Whoa. - Congratulations!
那么 你想从哪里开始？ So, where do you want to start?
来吧 Come on.
羊角面包 蛋糕烘焙可能是你的火花 Croissants, cakes. Baking could be your spark.
是的但是 嗯 我不明白 Yeah! But, um, I don't get it.
闻一闻 -不能 你不能 - Just smell it. - Can't, and neither can you.
什么？ What?
你是对的我闻不到 You're right. I can't smell.
我们不能我们也不能品尝？ We can't... We can't taste, either?
所有这些东西都在你体内 All that stuff is in your body.
没有气味 没有味道 -也摸不着看不到？ - No smell, no taste. - Or touch. See?
知道了继续 Okay, I get it. Moving on.
这不令人兴奋吗？ Isn't this exciting?
火真漂亮 The fire is so pretty.
我有点想让它传播 I kinda wanna let it spread.
不 Nope.
手很硬 Hands are hard.
图书馆员呢？他们很酷 How about a librarian? They're cool.
是的 太神奇了 Yes, amazing.
谁不想做一份无聊的工作 Who wouldn't like working at a thankless job
你总是因预算削减而有亏损的风险吗？ you're always in danger of losing due to budget cuts?
尽管我确实喜欢随机地悄悄掩盖人们的想法 Though I do like the idea of randomly shushing people.
看 显然是这个 -嘘！ - Look, obviously this... - Shh!
哦 好的 很好 Oh, yeah, that's good.
嗯 Meh.
好吧 我认为这就是一切 Well, I think that's everything.
不好意思你告诉我你会努力的 - Sorry. - You told me you'd try.
是的我说的是实话 I did. I'm telling the truth.
如果有一件事没有做到 那就是骗子 If there's one thing I'm not, it's a liar.
别学亚伯拉罕·林肯 Unlike Abraham Lincoln.
你真的要这么省钱吗 You're really okay being on a penny?
嗯 当然这是一种荣誉 Well, of course. It's an honour.
好的 但是他们让安德鲁·杰克逊去了20号 Okay, but they put Andrew Jackson on the 20.
杰克逊！ Jackson!
我能说什么 乔？地球无聊 What can I say, Joe? Earth is boring.
那么 我们还能做什么呢？ Well, what else can we do, then?
因为我们没时间了 Because we're running out of time.
是的 你知道 时间在这里啥也不是 Yeah, you know, time's not really a thing here.
时间到！ Time's up!
比约恩 不错的尝试 但不必感到难过 Nice try, Bjorn, but no need to feel bad.
22号这里可能是一个挑战 22 here can be a bit of a challenge.
即使我感觉不到 也请不要碰我 Even though I can't feel it, please don't touch me.
因此 让我们带你前往超度吧 So, let's get you to the Great Beyond.
嗯等一下我们忘了尝试霹雳舞了 Um, wait. We forgot to try breakdancer.
是的我认为那可能有用 Yeah! I think that's gonna be my thing.
弹出并锁定 Poppin' and lockin'. Windmills.
用舞蹈解决我的麻烦 Settling my disputes with dance.
我们可以再等一分钟再尝试霹雳舞吗？ Can we have one more minute to go back and try breakdancer?
拜托 杰瑞？ Please, Jerry?
杰瑞 你今天看起来真的很好 You look really good today, Jerry.
哦好的我从未见过如此热情的22号 Oh, okay. I've never seen 22 this enthused.
对你有好处 布尔根森博士 Good for you, Dr Börgensson.
跑 Run.
在这里 In here.
这儿 Here it is.
它指向哪里？ Where does it lead?
嘿 你问了太多问题 Hey, you ask too many questions.
好的 你把它拉开一分钟怎么样？ How about you zip it for a minute, m'kay?
为什么我们要去那里？ -因为我在那里认识一个人 - And we're going there why? - 'Cause I know a guy there.
一个可以帮助像你这样的人的人 A guy who can help. A guy like you.
像我这样的？活人吗？ Like me? As in, alive?
等一下 你真的在帮我吗？ Wait, are you actually helping me?
乔 我来这里不知道多久了 Joe, I have been here for who knows how long,
而且我从未见过任何让我想要生活的东西 and I've never seen anything that's made me want to live.
然后 你来了你的生活是可悲的 And then, you come along. Your life is sad and pathetic.
而且你正在努力地恢复 And you're working so hard to get back to it.
为什么？我的意思是 我必须明白这一点 Why? I mean, this I gotta see.
好吧走吧 Okay, let's go.
这是什么地方？ What is this place?
你知道当人类真正沉迷于某种事物时 You know how when you humans are really into something
感觉就像你在另一个地方吗？ and it feels like you're in another place?
感觉就像你在某片区域中 对吗？ Feels like you're in the zone, right?
是的好的 这是那区域 - Yeah. - Well, this is the zone.
它是身体和精神之间的空间 It's the space between the physical and spiritual.
等一下我到过这里今天 我有个试镜 Wait a minute. I was here. Today, doing my audition.
音乐家最流连忘返的一定是这里 This must be where musicians come when they get into a flow.
不只是音乐家看这个 Not just musicians. Watch this.
哦 罗密欧 罗密欧 所以你 O, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou...
线！ Line!
哎呀 Oops.
看一下这个 Check this out.
数十年来 我一直在和这支队打交道 I have been messing with this team for decades.
尼克斯输了 And the Knicks lose another one.
行行你认识的那个人在哪里？ All right. All right. Where's this guy you know?
我要回去进行我的演出 I gotta get back to my gig.
好的 我的意思是 他通常在这里什么 - Okay. I mean, he's usually down here. - What the...
进行交易 Make a trade.
进行交易进行交易 Make a trade. Make a trade.
那是什么？ -嘘！ - What is that? - Shh!
进行交易进行交易 Make a trade. Make a trade.
跑！ Run!
做交易 做交易 做交易！ Make a trade, make a trade, make a trade!
哦！嗨 星际旅行者们 Oh! Ahoy there, fellow astral travellers.
再次见到你 22号 Good to see you again, 22.
月风 你好吗？ Moonwind, how are ya?
快要疯了 谢谢你的询问 On the brink of madness, thanks for asking.
嘿 我想请求你 Hey, got a request for you.
嗯是的我正试图回到我的身体 Uh, yeah. I'm trying to get back to my body.
你能帮助我吗？ Can you help me?
那就是我们要做的 That's what we do.
我们是无国界的神秘主义者 We are the mystics without borders.
致力于帮助地球迷失的灵魂找到自己的路 Devoted to helping the lost souls of Earth find their way.
我是月风座为你服务 I'm Moonwind Stardancer at your service.
那是风星梦月 舞星风月 That's Windstar Dreamermoon, Dancerstar Windmoon,
那就是梦风梦梦 and that's Dreamerwind Dreamerdreamer.
这些怪人会帮助我回去吗？ These weirdos are going to help me get back?
等一下 Just wait.
让我们把失去的灵魂带回家 Let's get this lost soul back home.
进行交易 Make a trade.
进行交易进行交易 Make a trade. Make a trade.
可怜的小子 Poor fellow.
有些人无法摆脱自己的焦虑和痴迷 Some people just can't let go of their own anxieties and obsessions,
他们会迷失 脱离生命 leaving them lost and disconnected from life.
这就是结果 And this is the result.
进行交易进行交易 Make a trade. Make a trade.
做交易？ Make a trade?
看起来像一位对冲基金经理 Looks like another hedge fund manager.
现在 重新连接到你的尘世身体 Now, to reconnect to your earthly body.
哇那是我 Whoa. That's me.
谢谢 Thank you.
我这一生做了什么？ What am I doing with my life?
我还活着！我还活着！释放自己！ I'm alive! I'm alive! Free yourselves!
很美丽！ It's beautiful!
哇他那样回去了吗？ Whoa. He got back just like that?
所以这就是我要做的一切才能回到我的身体上？ So this is all I had to do to get back to my body?
哎呀 伙计！ Egads, man!
乔 你死了吗？ Joe, are you dead?
不 不好吧 还没有 No, no. Well, not yet.
你能帮我回去吗？ Can you help me get back?
我们以前从未将束缚的灵魂重新连接回它的身体 We've never connected an untethered soul back to its body before.
但是也许如果我们去一个薄弱的地方 But perhaps if we travel to a thin spot...
是！全部出动 Yes! All aboard!
去锚！ Anchors away!
因此 如果你的灵魂在这里 你的身体在哪里？ So if your souls are here, where are your bodies?
好吧 当然 在地球上 Well, on Earth, of course.
我的身体在巴拉望 My body is in a trance in Palawan.
我在西藏演奏萨拉斯瓦蒂小提琴 I'm playing the Saraswati veena in Tibet.
我是在加利福尼亚州伯克利市打坐的萨满巫师 I'm a shamanic healer meditating in Berkeley, California.
嗯让我猜 你是在打鼓 吟诵和冥想吗？ Mm-hmm. And let me guess, you're drumming, chanting, and meditating?
是就是这样的事情 Yes. Something like that.
我在纽约市的14号和7号拐角处 I'm in New York City, on the corner of 14th and 7th.
哦 对了 这是托尼·托尼·托尼奥斯的歌 Oh, yeah, that's right up from Tony Tony Tonios.
是的 正好 Yes, precisely.
那你呢我以为你讨厌地球 And what about you? I thought you hated Earth.
是的 我没有被困在身体上 Yeah, I'm not stuck with a body.
所以我可以去任何我想去的地方 So I can go wherever I want.
我谁也不是知道吗？ I'm a nobody, get it?
每个星期二 我们神秘主义者都会在这光辉的风景中相遇 We mystics meet in this glorious landscape every Tuesday.
很多人都很伤心 So many of them. Sad.
你知道 迷失的灵魂没有什么不同 You know, lost souls are not that different
跟他们相比 from those in the zone.
-什么？ -这个地方很愉快 - What? - The zone is enjoyable,
但是当那种快乐变成一种沉迷时 人们就会与生命脱节 but when that joy becomes an obsession, one becomes disconnected from life.
要找到它 Gotta find it.
要找到它要找到它 Gotta find it. Gotta find it.
一时间 我自己曾是一个失落的灵魂 For a time, I was a lost soul myself.
真的吗？俄罗斯方块 - Really? - Tetris.
你在这 There you are.
我们会尽快与你联系 We'll have you back in no time.
现在 由于你与身体没有任何联系 Now, since you don't have a connection to your body,
你将不得不重新调整自己的周围环境 you will have to tune back into your physical surroundings.
闭上你的眼睛 Close your eyes.
呼吸到你的冠状脉轮 Breathe into your crown chakra.
我们真的需要所有这些吗？ Do we really need all this?
是！ Yes!
船上有钢琴吗？我可以用来集中精力 Do you have a piano on board? I could focus with that.
没有钢琴 乔你必须集中精神 No pianos, Joe. You must focus.
想象一下沉默 Imagine silence.
嘘 Shh.
现在 专注于身体所在的位置 Now, concentrate on where your body is.
听提示 Listen for cues.
这就对了你正在进行 That's it. You're doing it.
不要偷看保持冥想状态 No peeking. Maintain your meditative state
否则你将断开连接 or you'll break the connection.
现在 看看你是否可以闻到并感觉到自己的身体在哪里 Now, see if you can smell and feel where your body is.
我听到心脏监护仪 I hear a heart monitor.
我可以闻到消毒剂的味道 I can smell hand sanitiser.
是很好 Yes. Yes! Good.
我想我能感觉到我的脚 I think I can feel my feet.
嗯我感到皮毛 Hmm. I feel fur.
你找到近亲了吗？ Did you find a next of kin?
我感到皮毛 I feel fur.
你听到了吗？ Did you hear that?
哦 治疗猫在工作 Oh, the therapy cat is working.
我能靠近吗？我什么时候可以跳进去？ Am I close? When can I jump in?
看！我在那 Look! There I am.
我在那 There I am.
他的心跳加快 His heart rate is increasing.
我去找医生 I'll get the doctor.
米滕斯先生 你呆在那里 Mr Mittens, you stay right there.
-我们还在等什么？ -不 乔 不要着急 - What are we waiting for? - No, Joe, don't rush this.
现在不是时候 -不 正是时候 - It's not the right time. - No, it's my time.
等等 Wait, not me!
我做到了！我回来了 I did it. I did it! I'm back.
什么 What the...
不不不 No.
不不不 No. No. No.
我在猫身体里吗？ I'm in the cat?
等一下如果我在这里 那是谁 Wait a minute. If I'm in here, then who...
-什么？你在我体内！ - What? - You're in my body!
你在猫身体里吗？ -等一下 那是我的身体 - You're in the cat? - Wait, wait, that's my body.
我进来了！你为什么在我体内？ - I'm in a body! No! - Why are you in my body?
我不想成为猫我讨厌猫！ I don't wanna be a cat. I hate cats!
哦 真恶心 Oh, it's disgusting.
那个月风家伙 他搞砸了 That Moonwind guy, he messed this up.
医生 你得帮我那是我的身体 但我被困住了 Doc, you gotta help me. That's my body, but I'm trapped...
哦 不 他们无法理解我 Oh, no, they can't understand me.
他们认为你是我你得试试看 They think you're me. You gotta try.
医生小姐 我们有问题 Miss Doctor, we have a problem.
我是一个未出生的灵魂 我想留在研讨会上 I'm an unborn soul and I wanna stay at the You Seminar.
是的 那药似乎根本没有作用 Yes, well, that drug doesn't seem to be working at all.
不 不 不 你不明白 No, no, no, you don't understand.
我不是加德纳先生 -嘘！ - I'm not Mr Gardner. - Shh!
他们会认为你疯了 They're gonna think you're nuts.
我的意思是 我疯了 I mean, that I'm nuts.
哦 这是怎么发生的？ Oh, how did this happen?
我掉进了你的身体 因为它没有灵魂 I fell into your body because it doesn't have a soul.
那我为什么在猫里？ Then why am I in a cat?
我不知道！ I don't know!
加德纳先生 有谁可以给我们打电话？ Is there anyone we can call, Mr Gardner?
亲戚或朋友？ A next of kin or friend?
告诉她不 -不 - Tell her no. - Uh, no.
你能告诉我今天是几号吗？ Can you tell me what day it is?
这是我一生中最糟糕的一天 It's the worst day of my life.
我不想在这里我讨厌地球 I don't wanna be here. I hate Earth.
告诉你我们将把你留在这里 Tell you what. We're going to keep you here
供观察只是有一点 for observation. Just for a bit.
也许我们的治疗猫可以去下一个约会 Perhaps our therapy cat can go to his next appointment.
好的好的 Okay. Okay.
你要和她说话 -好的 - You gotta talk to her. - Okay.
医生小姐 这只灵魂在这只猫里 Miss Doctor, this body's soul is in this cat.
别说了 Stop talking.
自然点 他想保持亲近 So naturally, he wants to stay close.
呃 留着猫休息吧 Uh, keep the cat. Just get some rest.
好吗？ A lot of it. Okay?
我会在十分钟之内让米滕斯先生来 I'll come get Mr Mittens in ten minutes.
10分钟？我们得离开这里 Ten minutes? We gotta get outta here.
不！我不能动！ No way! I am not moving!
我不敢相信自己在这个地狱般的星球上 I can't believe I'm in a body on this hellish planet.
我有弯曲的肉条 I have bendy meat sticks.
我能感觉到自己的感觉 I can feel myself feeling myself.
嘿！集中注意力！听我说 Hey! Focus! Listen to me.
我们要离开这里 否则他们会带我离开 We gotta get out of here before they take me away.
带你离开？你要离开我吗？ Take you away? You're gonna leave me?
不！你现在在我的身体里 No way! That's my body you're in.
好吧 你认为你可以走路吗？ Okay, do you think you can walk?
我不知道！ I don't know!
我的身体之前试驾失败了436次 I failed Body Test Drive, like, 436 times.
但是你能尝试吗？ But will you try?
好的要找到月风 他可以解决这个问题 Okay. Gotta find Moonwind, he can fix this.
我是一只猫我可以做到的 I'm a cat. I can make this.
好吧 来吧 你做得很好 Okay, come on, you're doing great.
继续继续 Keep going. Keep going.
我要在这里休息一分钟 I'm just gonna rest here for a minute.
不不不不他们会在任何时候回来来吧 No, no, no, no. They'll be back any minute. Come on.
好的！ Okay!
在这里！ In here!
哇 Whoa.
好的 Okay, good.
现在按下向下按钮 Now push the down button.
移动不小心 Move your... Nope. Careful.
那些手指是我的生计 Those fingers are my livelihood.
啊 Ugh.
现在进去 Now get in.
嗯 Hmm.
好吧 月风说了什么？ Okay, what did Moonwind say?
他说在14号和7号的拐角处 He said on the corner of 14th and 7th.
是的 那是切尔西 在杰克逊广场公园附近 Yeah, that's Chelsea. Near Jackson Square Park.
等等你怎么都知道 Exactly. Wait. How do you know all that?
一切都在你这个愚蠢的大脑中 It's all in this stupid brain of yours.
嘿 嘿 嘿 呆在那里 Hey, hey, hey, stay outta there.
哦放松一下 Oh, relax. There's not much here.
爵士 爵士 更多的爵士 Jazz, jazz, more jazz.
哦 还有一个叫丽莎的人那是谁？ Oh, and someone named Lisa. Who's that?
嗯 别提了 Uh, never mind.
我 嗯 I, um...
你知道这一切发生得太快了 It's all happening too fast, you know.
等一下 嗯 Let's just take a minute and, um...
来吧 走吧他们可能会在这里 Come on, let's go. They could be here any second.
不用担心 没关系继续走吧 Don't worry, it's okay. Just keep walking.
啊！ Aah!
不 别停你在做什么？ No, don't stop. What are you doing?
这是纽约市 This is New York City.
你不要在马路中间停下来快走 You don't stop in the middle of the street. Go, go, go.
不好了22号 Oh, no. 22. 22!
22号 不不好了22号 22. Oh, no. Oh, no. 22. 22.
22号！ 22! 22!
22 我不知道我有爪子 对吗？ 22, I didn't know I had claws, okay?
听着 对不起但是 走吧 走吧 Look, I'm sorry. But come on, let's go.
不 No way.
我一直待在这里 直到你那笨拙的尸体挂掉 I am staying right here until your stupid body dies.
因为你的肚子在震颤 所以这将在任何时刻发生 Which will happen any minute now because your stomach is earthquaking.
是的 这个地方比我想象的还要糟糕 Yeah, this place is worse than I thought.
既响亮又明亮 而且 It's loud, and bright, and...
嗯我鼻子到底是什么 Hmm. What is that in my nose?
那是气味 That's smell.
如果你认为这很好 请想象一下它的味道 And if you think that's good, just imagine what it tastes like.
嗯 Hmm.
继续 Go on.
真是太棒了！ It's so good!
额 It's, uh...
这并不可怕 It's not horrible.
好你可以在路上吃我们走吧 Good. You can eat on the way. Let's go.
或者 你只需花费几分钟当然 Or you just take a few minutes. Sure.
嗯奇怪 我不再感到生气了 Hmm. Strange, I don't feel so angry anymore.
太棒了准备找到月风了吗？ That's great. Ready to find Moonwind?
也许 Maybe.
我告诉你 乔 注意发音 I'm telling you, Joe, it's pronounced yee-row.
是的 但是在纽约 我们称它们为陀螺仪是希腊文 Yeah, but in New York, we call them gyros. It's Greek.
不 我为此还与阿基米德打了一架 No, I got in a fight with Archimedes about this.
他说 He said it's...
是的 -哟哟 - Yee-row. - Yo-yo.
是的 -哟哟 - Yee-row. - YOLO.
是的 -塞尔吉奥？ - Yee-row. - Sergio?
是的 Yee-row!
我想念那个家伙 I miss that guy.
这是14号和7号 This is 14th and 7th.
那一定是他 That's gotta be him.
月风 你得救我 Moonwind, you gotta help me.
乔！你进入了你的身体 Joe! You made it into your body.
不 他没有 No, he didn't.
那是我的身体 That is my body.
你在猫里吗？ You're in a cat?
那真是太棒了！ That's marvellous!
嘿 文温普！ Hey, Moonwimp!
那个标志不会自己旋转 听到吗？ That sign won't spin by itself, hear me?
但是 玛格 看！我把这个男人的灵魂放进猫身体里 But, Marge, look! I put this man's soul in a cat.
谁在乎？你呢！ Who cares? And you!
我们这里只能容纳一个怪人 所以 加油！ We only have room for one weirdo here, so, scram!
回去工作！ Get back to work!
没有人了解我的艺术 No one understands my art.
月风 听着 Moonwind, listen,
我要离开这再回到那里 I gotta get out of here and back in there.
好吧 我们必须执行 Well, we'll have to perform
一种老式的星体迁移移民 an old-fashioned astral transmigration displacement.
什么？ -这只是一种方式 - A what? - It's simply a way
让你的灵魂回到他们所属的地方 to get your souls back where they belong.
实际上 这是一种光荣的仪式 And it's a glorious ritual, indeed,
要吟诵 跳舞以及最重要的是打鼓 full of chanting, dancing, and best of all, bongos.
我需要在7:00之前到达半音符 所以这需要立即进行 I need to be at The Half Note by 7:00, so this needs to happen right now.
哇 哇 哇！没那么快 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Not so fast.
你必须等待下次薄弱的时候 You must wait for another thin spot
在地球和星界之间打开 to open between Earth and the astral plane.
得等到 And that won't occur
直到奥库斯进入双子座 until Orcus moves into the house of Gemini.
那是什么时候 When is that?
好吧 政府称它为6:30 Well, the government calls it 6:30.
听着我去半音符等你 Look, I'll meet you at The Half Note.
6:30？你是认真的？ 6:30? You serious?
我将收集所有必要的规定 I'll gather all the necessary provisions...
我说 离开这里！走！ I said, get out of here! Go!
6:30在半音符上见！ See you at The Half Note at 6:30!
我会处理一切！ I'll take care of everything!
然后离开！ And stay away!
当然 这里有很多加西亚 Sure are a lot of Garcias in here.
你在某个地方 小小的灵魂 You're out there somewhere, little soul,
我会找到你的 and I'm gonna find ya.
好吧 这是最后的小吃 All right, this is the last snack.
我几乎无法适应我的裤子 I can barely fit into my pants as it is.
6:30时间太赶 6:30 is cutting it close. Too close.
我们要回到我家 把你收拾干净 We gotta get back to my place and get you cleaned up and...
啊！ Ahh!
我们得叫出租车伸出你的手 We gotta hail a cab. Hold your hand out.
拿出来拿出来 Hold it up and out.
伙计 即使我没有穿医院的袍子 这也很难 Man, this would be hard even if I wasn't wearing a hospital gown.
冲啊！只是跑到那 Go, go, go! Just run to that one.
那是教书场吗？ Is that Teach?
嗯 意大利辣香肠 Mm, pepperoni.
啊 多萝西娅·威廉姆斯看见了我 Aah, Dorothea Williams saw me.
我该怎么办？她会以为我疯了 What am I gonna do? She's gonna think I'm crazy.
也许你应该给她打电话 Maybe you should call her up
告诉她我们并没疯 and tell her that we're not crazy.
我才当了一个小时的人 甚至我都知道这是一个坏主意 I've only been a person for an hour, and even I know that's a bad idea.
我只是要重新回到自己的体内 然后今晚证明自己 I just gotta get back in my body and really bring it tonight.
为什么这地方很臭但是这个地方闻起来很好？ How come this part is stinky but this part smells fine?
没关系穿上那条裤子 Never mind. Just put those pants on.
嘘 我简直不敢相信 Sheesh, I can't believe I've been
不穿裤子在这座城市里走来走去 walking around in this city with no pants on.
我甚至不想在这里 记得吗？ I don't even wanna be here, remember?
我也不希望你在这里我只是 I don't want you here either. I just...
我只是想回到我的身体 I just wanna get back to my body,
然后回到俱乐部 then get back to the club.
你怎么了 What's the matter with you?
嗯我不知道是太阳就是这样 Uh... I don't know. It's the sun. It's just so...
我的手机！ My phone!
嗯吧 你的衣服又在隆隆声了 Um... Okay, your clothes are rumbling again.
库里！嗯不不 Curley! Uh... No, no.
哎呀 Oops.
嘿 G先生 是库里 嗯 Hey, Mr G, it's Curley. Um...
希望你一切都好 I hope you're doin' okay.
多萝西娅见到你时吓坏了 她叫了另一个人罗伯特 Dorothea freaked out when she saw you, and she called this other guy, Robert.
他现在会取代你参加演出对不起 He's got the gig now. I'm sorry.
不不不 No, no, no.
老实说 Look, honestly,
我上学那时候就很喜欢你的课 your class was the only reason I went to school at all.
就像 我亏欠你很多 Like, I owe you a lot.
所以 这是计划 So, here's the plan.
打扮好自己 整顿行装 Clean yourself up, put on a killer suit,
早点去俱乐部 and get to the club early.
我要和她谈谈 I'm gonna try and talk to her.
只要确保你看起来酷毙了 好吗？ Just make sure you show up looking like a million bucks, all right?
希望我能见到你 伙计好一切平安 I hope I see you, man. All right. Peace.
我可以重新夺回演出22号 Oh! I can get the gig back, 22.
我需要你的帮助我有西装 I need your help. I have a suit.
我需要你尝试一下 I'm gonna need you to try it on.
不不不 No, no, no.
然后我可以将头发稍微梳理一下 And then I can line my hair up a little bit,
我可以不没办法 - and I can... - Nope. No way, no how.
22 22!
加德纳先生？ -啊！ - Mr Gardner? - Ah!
是康妮她来这里上课 It's Connie. She's here for her lesson.
我该怎么办？ 我可以听见你！ - What do I do? - I can hear you!
告诉她你今天不行 Just tell her that you can't do it today.
嗨 康妮 Hi, Connie.
抱歉 乔今天不能这样做 Sorry, but Joe can't do it today.
-你是乔！我是说 - You're Joe! - I mean, me.
我今天不能上课 Me can't do it today.
好现在让我们去看看那套西装 Good. Now let's go check out that suit.
我来告诉你我放弃了 I came to tell you that I quit.
放弃？ Quit?
我们没有时间这样做这套衣服在壁橱里 We don't have time for this. The suit is in the closet.
乐队是在愚蠢的浪费时间 Band is a stupid waste of time.
这个孩子在说话 This kid is talking sense.
你在做什么？ What are you doing?
给 我放弃了我认为爵士是没有意义的 Here, I quit. I think jazz is pointless.
哦 是的 爵士乐绝对没有意义 Oh, yeah, jazz is definitely pointless.
嘿！ Hey!
实际上 所有的学校都是在浪费时间 In fact, all of school is a waste of time.
当然就像我的导师乔治·奥威尔曾经说过的那样 Of course. Like my mentor, George Orwell, used to say,
国家赞助的教育 "State sponsored education
就是在拿根棍子在泔水桶里搅动产生的卡嗒声 "is like the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket."
是的 Yeah!
统治阶级的核心课程令人窒息 The ruling class's core curriculum stifles dissent.
这是书中最古老的把戏 It's the oldest trick in the book.
你在说什么 What are you talkin' about?
她一点也不在乎 She doesn't care about any of that.
我从三年级开始就这么说 I've been saying that since the third grade.
你知道 你看起来真的很聪明 You know, you seem really smart.
你觉得披萨怎么样 What is your position on pizza?
嗯 我喜欢？一我也是！ - Uh, I like it? - Me, too!
你在做什么？ What are you doing?
我宁愿和康妮在一起 I'd rather hang with Connie.
什么？回到这来！你打开这个 What? Come back here! You open this...
嗯 我想你的猫想出去 Um, I think your cat wants to get out.
额 他以为自己什么都知道 Ugh, he thinks he knows everything.
22号你不能丢下我 22! Don't you walk away from me.
马上过来 Come here right now.
我要进去 把沙发擦干净 I'm gonna go in and I'mma scratch up the sofa.
哦 等等 那是我的沙发 Oh, wait a minute, that's my sofa.
康妮 你真的弄明白了 You really got things figured out, Connie.
我最好把它还给我它属于学校 I'd better give this back. It belongs to the school.
当然 Sure.
你知道 我真的很高兴有人 You know, I really am glad there's someone else
去看看这个地方多么荒谬 who sees how ridiculous this place is.
你放弃的对我曾学会了放弃 You're right to quit. I learned about quitting...
你知道吗 G先生？ You know what, Mr G?
我昨天在练习这件事 I was practising this one thing yesterday
也许你可以听一听 然后让我放弃 好吗？ and maybe you can listen to it and tell me to quit after, okay?
嗯好吧 Uh, okay.
哇你真的很喜欢这个 Wow. You really love this.
是的 Yeah.
所以 也许我最好坚持下去？ So, maybe I'd better stick with it?
是的 Yeah.
再见 G先生 Bye, Mr G.
下周见！ See you next week!
22号 22!
所以 康妮来到这里想放弃 So, Connie came here to quit,
但是后来她没有 but then she didn't.
22号 算了听着 22, forget about that. Listen.
我需要知道这一点 乔她为什么不放弃？ I need to know this, Joe. Why didn't she quit?
因为她喜欢演奏 Because she loves to play.
她可能会说她讨厌一切 但长号是她的所爱 She might say she hates everything, but trombone is her thing.
她很擅长 She's good at it.
也许长号是她的火花 我不知道 Maybe trombone is her spark, I don't know.
拜托如果我要找回演出 我需要你的帮助 Please. If I'm gonna get this gig back, I need your help.
好的 Okay.
真的？ Really?
我会帮助你 但我想尝试一些事情 I'll help you, but I wanna try a few things.
因为我不知道 'Cause I don't know,
你有些不像在研讨会上那样无聊 some of it's not as boring as it is at the You Seminar,
如果康妮能在这里找到她喜欢的东西 and if Connie can find something she loves here,
也许我也可以 maybe I can, too.
太好了！那么 我们首先要做什么？ - Great! - So, what do we do first?
这水好痛！ -没关系 - This water hurts! - It's okay.
你只需要旋转另一个旋钮即可 You just have to turn the other knob.
哦 好的 那更好 Oh, okay, that's better.
而且我不会生气 And I wouldn't be mad
完成后如果在我身上抹一点乳液 if you put a little lotion on me when you're done.
我为你洗了屁股 I washed your butt for you.
啊！好辣 Ah! Spicy! Spicy!
你们五个不会很安全 You five will be insecure.
这样 你12就会全神贯注 And you 12 will be self-absorbed.
我们真的应该停止通过这个展馆发送这么多东西 We really should stop sending so many through that pavilion.
找到他了！ Found him!
看到了吗？ See that, everybody?
谁能弄清计数为何会消失？ Who figured out why the count's off?
是的 特里做到了 That's right, Terry did.
现在是特里的时刻 It's Terrytime.
哇辛苦了那是谁？ - Wow. Nice work. - Well, who is it?
对 Right.
呃乔·加德纳是他的名字 Uh... Joe Gardner is his name.
看来他已重返地球 Looks like he's back down on Earth.
这是不好的 That's not good.
那那是我们22号的导师 That... That's the mentor we set up with 22.
好吧好吧真崩溃 All right, all right. Easy on the hysterics.
特里对此进行了控制我会处理的 Terry's got this under control. I'll handle it.
怎么样？ How?
我会去那里接他 I'll go down there and get him.
把计数调好 分秒必争 Set the count right, lickety-split.
好的 哇你确定这是个好主意吗？ Okay, whoa. Are you sure that's a good idea?
看 你们都是加强 Look, you all are the ones who beefed it.
我正在尝试去掉 I'm trying to un-beef it.
但是你看不见 But you cannot be seen.
任何人都是 By anyone.
别担心我将确保没有其他人看到我 Don't worry. I'll make sure no one else sees me.
我会像忍者一样在阴影中移动 I'll move among the shadows, like a ninja.
拜托 快点安静地干吧 Please, just do it quickly and quietly.
要很快以及悄悄地 And also quickly. And quietly as well.
可以肯定 这不会是一场灾难 This won't be a disaster, that's for sure.
嗯可信赖的旧棕色西装仍然是完美的选择 Mm. Trusty old brown suit. Still a perfect fit.
后面有点紧 It's a little tight in the back-here part.
会变松动的坐下 It'll loosen. Sit down.
我是一只猫 I'm a cat.
我可以的 I'll do it.
你不能叫电梯 记得吗？ You couldn't call an elevator, remember?
不我只需要排队现在保持 No way. I just need to line me up. Now be still.
嗯 就像一个小的电锯 Uh, it's like a little tiny chainsaw.
-别动 -我没动是你在动 - Don't move. - I'm not moving. You're moving.
不好了！ Oh, no!
不用担心 我很好 Don't worry, I'm okay.
哦 不 不 不！我的头发！我的头发不好了！ Oh, no, no, no! My hair! My hair is not okay!
这是一场灾难！ This is a disaster!
我们必须解决此问题马上 We gotta fix this. Right now.
好的怎么解决？我们得去见德兹 - Okay. How? - We gotta go see Dez.
好谁是德兹？ Great. Who's Dez?
哟 伊恩 伙计 你怎么样 Yo, Ian, man, how you get
那个花生头？你怎么了？ that big peanut head? What happened to you?
伙计 闭嘴 伙计你知道我对此很敏感 Man, shut up, man. You know I'm sensitive about that.
德兹是后面的家伙 Dez is the guy in the back.
他可以解决此问题 He can fix this.
谈论会有火花 Talk about havin' a spark.
这个家伙天生就是理发师 This guy was born to be a barber.
但是我不能在你所有的朋友面前表现自如 But I can't pass for you in front of all your friends.
德兹是我唯一愿意与之交谈的人 Dez is the only one that I talk to.
我们通常谈论爵士乐 We usually talk about jazz,
但是这次 只是坐在那里 剪头发 然后离开 but this time, just sit there, get the cut, and get out.
嘿 乔你工作日在这里做什么？ Hey, Joe. What are you doing here on a weekday?
你没有预约 伙计要等一会儿 You didn't call for an appointment, man. It's gonna be a while.
啊 我怕这个快坐吧 Ah, I was afraid of this. Go ahead and sit down.
哦 我的上帝 Oh, my Lord.
孩子 你得等一下这是紧急情况 You gotta wait, son. This is an emergency.
什么？真不爽 德兹 What? That ain't cool, Dez.
你也可以让哈罗德剪头发 You could always let Harold cut your hair.
他那儿没人 His chair's wide open.
没事我可以等 Nah. I can wait.
乔 现在把你的屁股放到这把椅子上 Joe, get your butt in this chair now.
我应该问你这是怎么回事吗 Should I even ask you how this happened?
猫干的别发疯了 - The cat did it. - Stop sounding insane.
我的意思是 嗯 我分心了 I mean, um, I was distracted
准备今晚与多萝西娅·威廉姆斯一起演奏 getting ready to play with Dorothea Williams tonight.
多萝西娅·威廉姆斯？乔 那是个好时机 Dorothea Williams? That's big time, Joe.
恭喜你！ Congratulations!
乔没有得到演出 德兹 Joe ain't getting no gig, Dez.
你知道他是雪茄先生吗？ You know he Mr Close-But-No-Cigar.
这家伙 This guy.
乔 别理他现在 让我修理一下 Joe, ignore him. Now let's fix you up.
你把那只猫放在腿上吗？ You keeping that cat on your lap?
我可以这样做吗？ Is it okay that I do that?
你自便你是老板 Suit yourself. You're the boss.
我是吗？当你坐在这把椅子上时 - I am? - When you're in this chair,
你就是了 yeah, you are.
那我可以吃一个吗？ So can I have one of those?
嗯 好的 乔 Uh... Sure, Joe.
酷 Cool.
嗯我喜欢坐在椅子上 Mmm. I like being in the chair.
嘿 用头玩游戏 Hey, get your head in the game.
小电锯 Little chainsaw.
你需要安定下来如果你继续 You need to settle down. If you keep this...
看 我可以处理一些怪异的东西 Look, I can deal with some freaky stuff,
但是如果这只猫不安分 but if this cat don't chill,
我们将不得不把它放在外面 we're gonna have to put it outside.
好吧 小猫 怎么样 Well, what's it gonna be, kitty?
喵 Meow.
有时候 改变是好的 Sometimes, change is good.
一段时间以来 你一直在用相同的风格 You have been rocking that same style for a while.
好吧 戴兹 数百年来 我根本没有风格 Well, Dez, for hundreds of years, I've had no style at all.
你可以再说一遍 You can say that again.
嗯但是后来我的生活改变了 Mmm. But then my life changed.
哦耶？发生了什么？ Oh, yeah? What happened?
我作为一个理论建构而存在 I was existing as a theoretical construct
以假设的方式 in a hypothetical way station
在生与死之间 between life and death.
我听说 I heard that.
当我等到266号导师的时候 And by the time I got to mentor number 266,
我在认真地问 例如 一些大惊小怪的问题 I was seriously asking, like, what is all the fuss about?
就像 生命中有什么值得一死的事吗？ Like, is all this living really worth dying for?
你知道我的意思吗？ You know what I mean?
我从不知道你受过如此有趣的教育 乔 I never knew you had such an interesting education, Joe.
我只是以为你去了音乐学校 I just thought you went to music school.
还有一件事 他们说你天生要做某事 And another thing, they say you're born to do something,
但是你怎么知道那是什么东西呢？ but how do you figure out what that thing is?
我的意思是 如果你选错了怎么办？ I mean, what if you pick up the wrong thing?
选到了别人的东西 你知道吗？ Or somebody else's thing, you know?
然后你就被卡住了 以前有过 - Then you're stuck. - Been there before.
我将选其一 I'll take one of those.
我不会自欺欺人 I wouldn't call myself stuck,
但是我从没想过要活着 but I never planned on cuttin' heads for a livin'.
等等 但是你天生就是个理发师 不是吗？ Wait, but you were born to be a barber, weren't you?
我想当一名兽医 I wanted to be a veterinarian.
那么 为什么不这样做呢？ So, why didn't you do that?
我正计划离开海军时 I was plannin' to when I got out of the Navy.
然后我女儿生病了 Then my daughter got sick,
理发学校便宜很多 and barber school is a lot cheaper
比起兽医学校 than veterinarian school.
好吧 那太糟糕了 Well, that's too bad.
你受限成为了一个理发师 所以现在你不开心 You're stuck as a barber and now you're unhappy.
哇 哇 慢点儿 乔 Whoa, whoa, slow your roll there, Joe.
我作为一个理发师也很开心 I'm happy as a clam, my man.
不是每个人都能像查尔斯·德鲁那样发明输血 Not everyone can be Charles Drew inventing blood transfusions.
或者我 和多萝西娅·威廉姆斯一起弹钢琴 Or me, playing piano with Dorothea Williams.
我知道 I know.
你还不是全部 You are not all that.
如果愿意 任何人都可以在乐队中演奏 Anyone could play in a band if they wanted to.
不要理会保罗 Don't pay Paul any mind.
像他这样的人只会使其他人失望 People like him just bring other people down
这样他们可以使自己感觉好些 so they can make themselves feel better.
知道了 Oh, I get it.
他只是在批评我掩盖自己失败的梦想的痛苦 He's just criticising me to cover up the pain of his own failed dreams.
你很有深度 乔 You cut deep, Joe.
我想知道为什么坐在椅子上让我想告诉你事情 德兹 I wonder why sitting in this chair makes me want to tell you things, Dez.
那是椅子的魔力这就是为什么我喜欢这份工作 That's the magic of the chair. That's why I love this job.
我会遇到像你这样有趣的人 I get to meet interesting folks like you,
让他们快乐 让他们看起来英俊 make them happy, and make them handsome.
哇！我疯了还是看起来更年轻了？ Wow! Am I crazy or do I look younger?
我可能没有发明输血 I may not have invented blood transfusions,
但我绝对要保住性命 but I am most definitely savin' lives.
我不知道这个疯狂的猫家伙的事 伙计 I don't know about this crazy cat guy thing, man,
但很高兴与你谈谈关于爵士以外的其他事物 乔 but it is nice to finally talk to you about something other than jazz, Joe.
嗯嗯 我们怎么以前从未谈论过你的生活？ Huh. How come we, um, never talked about your life before?
你没问过 You never asked.
但我很高兴你这次这样做了 But I'm glad you did this time.
看起来不错 兄弟 -祝演出顺利 - Looking good, brother. - Have a great show.
我拿了几个路边棒棒糖 I grabbed a couple of road lollies.
查玛博士 请致电3-1-6-2 Dr Charma, call 3-1-6-2.
嗯 Mm.
嗯 Mm-hmm.
嗯 Mm.
哦 Oh.
朱莉娅·查德直到49岁才获得成功 Julia Child didn't succeed till she was 49.
嘿 保罗给 棒棒糖 Hey, Paul. Here, have a lollipop.
哦 是的 谢谢谢啦 Oh, yeah, thanks. Thanks, man.
你在这 There you are.
没有难过的感觉吧？好吧 No hard feelings, right? All right.
只是朋友 Just friends.
只是朋友们互相嘲弄好吧 Just friends goofing on each other. All right.
好的再见 保罗 Okay. Goodbye, Paul.
来特里 Come to Terry.
知道了！ Gotcha!
你以为你可以欺骗宇宙？ Thought you could cheat the universe?
好吧 你错了 Well, you thought wrong.
我是会计师 我来这里带你去 I'm the accountant, and I'm here to bring you in...
哦 哇你不是乔·加德纳 Oh, whoa... You're not Joe Gardner.
我的错 My mistake.
我们会让你重新回到你的肉体 We'll just get you back into your meat suit.
你去吧 There you go.
没有伤害 没有违规 No harm, no foul.
好家伙看 呃 伙计 Oh, boy. Look, uh, fella,
我在想没有理由 I'm thinking there's no reason
我们无法隐瞒我们之间的小事 是吗？ we can't keep this little incident between us, eh?
发生错误而且 这不是你的时间 Mistakes happen. And, uh, it's not your time.
除非你继续吃 Unless you keep eating
这些加工食品 对吗？ those processed foods, am I right?
但请注意 远离那些加工食品 But seriously, stay away from those processed foods.
你知道吗 你会回到那儿 You know what, you did all right back there.
你怎么知道如何与保罗打交道？ How did you know how to deal with Paul?
我不知道我只想放我出去 I didn't. I just let out the me.
嘿 就像你说的爵士乐一样我是爵士中 Hey, like you said about jazz. I was jazzing.
首先 “爵士中”不是一个词 First of all, "jazzing" is not a word.
其次 音乐和生活的运作方式大不相同 And second, music and life operate by very different rules.
拿一个 It says take one.
不好吧没事 Don't... Or do. Okay. Fine.
“有货车的人” "Man with a van."
我以防万一需要很多货车 I got a few in case we need a lot of vans.
嗯现在 让我们回到计划 Uh-huh. Now, let's get back to the plan.
我们转到半音符并在那里等待月风 We go to The Half Note and wait there for Moonwind.
大约下午4:00现在 It's around 4:00 p.m. now...
你知道吗？ You know what?
你真的很擅长使用腿 You are really getting good at using those legs.
为什么不尝试奔跑？ Why don't you try runnin'?
嘿！我写了歌我是爵士乐 Hey! I made a song. I'm jazzing.
好吧 足够的爵士之类的东西 Okay, enough of the jazzing and everything like that.
我们需要去某个地方现在我 We need to get somewhere. Now, I...
好痒 -嗯 你在做什么？ - That tickles. - Uh, what are you doing?
哎呀我知道了 Whoops. I got it.
你会快点吗？ Would you hurry up?
好的 Okay.
你是对的这条裤子变宽松了 You were right. These pants are loosening.
哦 不 不 不 Oh, no, no, no.
不要让别人看到你的屁股！ Don't let people see your butt!
是你的屁股 -谁的屁股都无所谓 - It's your butt. - It doesn't matter whose butt...
脱下外套绑在你的腰上 Take off the jacket. Tie it around your waist.
快！盖住屁股！ Quick! Cover the butt!
我们该怎么办？ What are we gonna do?
我找不到裁缝了 I can't find a tailor this late...
不好了我们将不得不去妈妈那 Oh, no. We're gonna have to go to Mom's.
好的 Okay.
不 不 不 你不明白 No, no, no, you don't understand.
妈妈不知道这次演出 Mom doesn't know about this gig.
她不会喜欢的 And she's not gonna like it.
好的 Okay.
我们别无选择 We don't have any other choice.
好的 Okay.
她是唯一可以解决此问题的人 She's the only one that can fix this.
-好的 -不要说“好的”！ - Okay. - Stop saying "okay"!
我们要乘地铁穿越城镇来吧 We gotta catch the subway across town. Come on.
好 知道了 Okay... Got it.
我妈妈对演出一无所知 My mom doesn't know anything about the gig,
我想保持这种方式 好吗？ and I wanna keep it that way, okay?
是的 因为她认为你失败了 Right, because she thinks you're a failure.
-什么？ -我没那么说 - What? - I didn't say that.
你做到了来吧 You did. Up here.
嗯 我妈妈对成功有自己的定义 Uh, look, my mom has her own definition of what success is,
成为专业音乐家不是吗 and being a professional musician isn't it.
所以 让我看看 我需要一套适合学校乐队演奏会的西装 So, let me see, I need the suit fixed for a, uh, school band recital.
我并不期待这个 但是没有理由她不需要知道 I'm not looking forward to this, but there's no reason she needs to know...
我不知道我一直都在 I don't know. All the times I've been
如此接近实现我的梦想 so close to getting to my dreams,
总是有障碍 something always gets in the way.
你知道我的意思？ You know what I mean?
他很好 He's good.
而且我以前听过音乐 但是我从没有内心这样的感觉 And I've heard music before, but I've never felt like this inside.
当然 你现在爱音乐 因为你是我我们走吧 Of course, you love music now, because you're me. Let's go.
我们走吧 Let's go.
哇！ Whoa!
嘿 放轻松点 是吗？ Hey, take it easy, eh?
对不起 I'm sorry.
不用担心 Don't worry about it.
这是地铁它对某些人有用 It's the subway. It does that to some people.
用来什么？它会使你感到沮丧 - Does what? - It wears you down.
臭热还很拥挤 It stinks. It's hot. It's crowded.
每天都有相同的事物 日复一日 Every day the same thing, day in and day out.
但是一旦我今晚登上舞台 But once I get on the stage tonight,
我所有的麻烦都将得到解决 all my troubles are going to be fixed.
你将看到一个全新的乔 You're gonna see a brand-new Joe Gardner.
你怎么做到的？ Where'd you get that?
在座位下你相信吗？ Under the seat. Can you believe it?
还是半满的 It's still half-full.
好吧 记住 All right, remember,
我需要乐队演奏会西装懂了吗？ I need the suit fixed for a band recital. Got it?
乔！哦 我的孩子乔伊！ - Joey! Oh, baby boy... - Joey!
我为你感到骄傲我们听到了这个消息 - Oh, I'm so proud of you. - ...we heard the news.
真是的她知道了 Oh, crap. She knows.
你妈妈在后面 Your momma's in the back.
你得进去不 我不想 - You gotta go in there. - No, I don't want to.
你必须我们需要补下衣服 You have to. We need the suit fixed.
你忘记了什么 乔伊？ You forgetting something, Joey?
-什么？亲她 - What? - Kiss her.
我总是见到梅尔巴时亲吻她 I always kiss Melba when I see her.
去做就对了 Just do it.
不不不不在嘴唇上 No, no, no. Not on the lips.
乔伊！孩子 你怎么了？ Joey! What has gotten into you, boy?
让他完成吧 Let him finish.
美洲狮我就知道 Cougar. I knew it.
你回来的时候我会再接一个吻 乔伊 I'll take another kiss when you get back, Joey.
赶演出是如此的重要 是吗？ So much for being done chasing after gigs, huh?
我希望猫不应该成为某种和平的礼物 I hope that cat isn't supposed to be some kind of peace offering.
来来吧 Come. Come on.
说你救了它 Just say you rescued it.
不这是我的我救了它 Um, no. It's mine. I rescued it.
嗯太糟糕了 要是你能挽救下你的职业也好 Hmm. Too bad you can't rescue your career.
哦 Oh.
问她是否可以补好我的衣服即可 Just ask her nicely if she can fix my suit.
妈妈 有什么办法可以解决这个问题？ So, Mom, is there any way you can fix this?
哇！我不需要看到那个 Whoa! I don't need to see that.
我知道不好意思吧？ I know. Embarrassing, right?
那么 你会补好它吗？ So, you'll fix it?
不 什么 - No. - What?
乔伊 你要继续这样做多久？ How long are you going to keep doing this, Joey?
你告诉我你将要接受全职工作 You tell me you're going to accept the full-time position...
又来了 Here it comes.
相反 我听说你又参加了一场演出 ...and instead, I hear you've taken another gig.
告诉她这是不同的 Tell her that this one is different.
这不一样！ This one's different!
这个演出有退休金吗？健康保险？ Does this gig have a pension? Health insurance?
没有？那就是一样的 No? Then it's the same as the other ones.
就像你再也无法对我诚实 It's like you can't even be truthful with me anymore.
好吧 我们将把西装从架子上取下来 Fine, we'll get the suit off the rack somewhere.
我妈妈从不了解我要如何进行自己的生活 My mom has never understood what I'm trying to do with my life.
好吧 我们将把西装从架子上取下来 Fine, we'll get the suit off the rack somewhere.
我妈妈从来不了解 My mom has never understood
我想要做的事情 what I'm trying to do with my life.
-22号！你刚刚说什么？ - 22! - What did you just say?
我现在可以像平时一样逃跑吗？ Oof. Can I run away now, like you usually do?
不 这次不行跟我念 No. Not this time. Repeat after me.
妈我知道我们过得很艰难 Mom, I know we've had some rough times,
但是你是对的 but you're right,
我不能对你诚实 I can't be truthful with you.
因为似乎不管我做什么 你都不赞成 Because it seems like no matter what I do, you disapprove.
听着 我知道你喜欢演奏 Look, I know you love playing.
那除了教堂之外 我什么时候最快乐呢？ Then how come except for church, you're the happiest when I don't?
我终于找到了我的生命 你不高兴 I finally land the gig of my life and you're upset.
你没有看到身为音乐家的你父亲有多艰难 You didn't see how tough being a musician was on your father.
我不想看到你那样挣扎 I don't want to see you struggle like that.
爸爸可以实现他的梦想 我不能吗？ So Dad could pursue his dreams, and I can't?
你父亲有我 Your father had me.
大多数时候 都是我付账的 Most times, this shop is what paid the bills.
所以 当我死了 谁来付你的钱呢？ So when I'm gone, who's gonna pay yours?
音乐就是我所想要的 Music is all I think about.
从早上起床的那一刻起 From the moment I wake up in the morning
直到我晚上入睡的那一刻 to the moment I fall asleep at night.
乔伊 你不能靠梦想吃饭 You can't eat dreams for breakfast, Joey.
那我就不想吃饭 Then I don't want to eat.
妈妈 这与我的职业无关 This isn't about my career, Mom.
这是我活下去的原因 It's my reason for living.
我知道爸爸也有同样的感觉 And I know Dad felt the same way.
我只是怕某天死了 I'm just afraid that if I died today,
我的生命却一无所有 that my life would've amounted to nothing.
乔伊 Joey.
哦 Oh.
让我们来做这项工作 Let's make this work instead.
那是我爸爸的西装 That's my dad's suit.
露露梅尔巴 Lulu. Melba.
带上你的好剪刀我们有工作要做 Bring your good scissors in here. We got work to do.
哇感觉真好 Wow. This feels really nice.
-你看起来很棒 -非常合适 - You look marvellous. - It fits perfectly.
你知道我是怎么做到的吗？ You see how I did that?
如果我自己这么说的话 那是一件精美的羊毛西装 That is one fine wool suit, if I do say so myself.
我可以试一下吗？当然可以 - Can I try on that? - Of course you can.
真帅 Just handsome.
谢谢 妈妈 Thank you, uh, Mom.
宝贝 雷会为你感到骄傲 Ray would have been so proud of you, baby.
就像我一直以来一样 Like I've always been.
你听到我了吧？ You heard me, right?
西装是羊毛 不是聚酯 The suit is wool, not polyester.
因此 不要再将那只猫放在你的肩膀上 So, don't go putting that cat on your shoulders again.
是的女士！ Yes, ma'am!
哦 那里有一个很好的锥度 Oh, there's a nice little taper there.
谢谢妈妈 Thanks, Mom.
哦 那真是太棒了 Oh, that was amazin'.
你知道那是什么感觉吗？感觉就像爵士乐 You know what that felt like? It felt like jazz.
是的 你在爵士中 Yeah, you were jazzing.
哈哈好吧 爵士中 Ha-ha. Okay, jazzing.
我告诉你 乔 I'm telling you, Joe.
你真的应该再次致电丽莎 You really should call Lisa again.
我现在真的没有时间去恋爱 22 I don't really have time for a relationship right now, 22.
哦 现在忙吗？ Oh, busy right now?
想等到你第二次死吗？ Wanna wait till you die a second time?
酷 酷 酷 Cool, cool, cool.
我不敢相信我会得到一个浪漫的建议 I can't believe I'm getting romantic advice
来自一个还未出生的灵魂 from an unborn soul.
我能想到的更糟 I can think of worse.
在那里 There it is.
我们做到了！这会起作用的 We made it! This is going to work.
哇！我简直不敢相信我的外表 Whoa! I can't believe how good I look.
西装 发型看看我 The suit, the cut. Just look at me.
哦 就在那儿转一点一像这样？ - Ooh, just turn a little bit right there. - Like this?
倾斜肩膀 然后哦 嘿 那是谁？ - Angle the shoulders, and... - Oh, hey, who's that?
从这边 -这就对了 - And from this side. - That's it.
什么？谁回来了 What? Who's back here?
-还是我嗯 -那是赢家 - Still me. Uh-huh. - That's a winner.
对？ Right?
这不可能现在 我难以相信这一点 This can't be happenin'. Now, I'm not gonna believe this.
半音符 The Half Note.
他会请你吃晚餐吗？ He made you pay for dinner?
是的 Yeah...
准备好了吗？ -嗯？ - So, you ready? - Huh?
回家 To go home.
我敢打赌 你已经准备好摆脱这臭臭的石头 是吗？ I bet you're ready to get off of this stinky rock, huh?
无论如何 你如何看待地球？ What do you think of Earth, anyway?
我总是说这很蠢但 I always said it was dumb. But...
我的意思是 I mean...
看看我发现了什么 Just look at what I found.
你妈妈从这个可爱的线轴上缝了西服 Your mom sewed your suit from this cute spool.
当我紧张的时候 德兹给了我这个 When I was nervous, Dez gave me this.
地铁上的一个人对我大喊很可怕 A guy on the subway yelled at me. It was scary.
但是我也很喜欢 But I kind of liked that, too.
事实是 我一直很担心 Truth is, I've always worried
也许我出了点问题你懂？ that maybe there's something wrong with me. You know?
也许我还不够了解生活 Maybe I'm not good enough for living.
但是随后你向我展示了目标和激情 But then you showed me about purpose and passion,
也许看天空是就是我的火花 and maybe sky-watching can be my spark.
或走路我真的很会走路 Or walking. I'm really good at walking.
这些真的不是目的 22号 Those really aren't purposes, 22.
那只是正常的生活 That's just regular old living.
但是 嘿 当你回到研讨会时 But, hey, when you get back to the You Seminar,
你可以尝试一下 you can give it an honest try.
不 但是我参加研讨会已有数千年了 No, but I've been at the You Seminar for thousands of years
而且我从来没有这么亲近过 and I have never felt this close.
乔！准备回家了吗？ Joe! Who's ready to go home?
月风 Moonwind.
星星已经就位 The stars are almost in alignment.
行 All right.
我会立刻让你回到你体内 I'll have you back in your bodies in no time.
不 我得在地球上找到它 No. I've gotta find it here, on Earth.
这是我找到火花的唯一机会 This is my only chance to find my spark.
22 你喜欢这个东西 因为你在我体内 22, you're only loving this stuff because you're in my body.
当你回到研讨会时 你会发现自己爱的事物 You can find your own thing to love when you get back to the You Seminar.
现在 来吧 我需要我的身体回来就现在！ Now, come on, I need my body back. Now!
不 No.
我坐在椅子上 I'm in the chair.
-22！ -请别打扰我！ - 22! - Leave me alone!
我要试图找到我的目标！ I'm trying to find my purpose!
22 你回来！ 22, you come back here!
22 22!
米滕斯先生 Mr Mittens.
哦 Oh.
他们在那里 There they are.
你现在快回到这里来！ You come back here right now!
你偷了我的身体！ You stole my body!
乔加德纳 你该走了 It's your time to go, Joe Gardner.
哦 不 你不该 Oh, no, you don't.
知道了！ Gotcha!
不不不 No, no, no.
不 不！ No, no!
我要和多萝西娅·威廉姆斯一起演奏 I was gonna play with Dorothea Williams!
我正要找到自己的火花 And I was about to find my spark!
找到你的火花？我的生活终于要改变了！ Find your spark? My life was finally going to change!
你答应过 但你甚至不给我五分钟！ You promised, but you wouldn't even give me five minutes!
我因为你而失去了一切！ I lost everything because of you!
乔！ Joe!
你撒谎 You cheated.
找到他了 Found him.
乔·加德纳 你回来了！ - Joe Gardner. - You're back!
特里 你找到了他们 Terry, you found them.
不用谢我 No need to thank me.
一切恢复正常真好 而且 It's so nice to have everything back in order, and...
22让她通过了吗？ 22 got her pass?
-哦 我的天啊 -22！你有一张地球通行证！ - Oh, my goodness. - 22! You got an Earth Pass!
这真太了不起了！ This is amazing!
我知道你能做到 I knew you could do it.
这是克雷克雷 This is cray cray.
但是 什么…最后一个格子里填了什么？ But what... What filled in the last box?
我会告诉你填的东西我做到了！ I'll tell you what filled it in. I did!
是我的火花改变了那个徽章 It was my spark that changed that badge.
她之所以得到它 是因为她在我的体内过着我的生活 She only got that because she was living my life in my body.
我当时是 -加德纳先生 - I was... - Come on, Mr Gardner.
乔 该你了 Joe, it's time for you
跟22到达地球门户 to accompany 22 to the Earth portal.
给你机会去说声再见 Give you a chance to say goodbye.
当然这是标准程序 Of course. It's standard procedure.
等一下我要校正设置计数 Just hold on a minute. I get to set the count right.
特里 你做得很好 Terry, you have done a super job.
我们从这里拿走 We'll take it from here.
你真厉害 You're amazing.
好 谢谢 Well, thank you.
特里时刻 Terrytime.
你们两个 Go ahead, you two.
你不知道 You don't know.
你不确定我的通行证为何更改 You can't be sure why my pass changed.
快点22考虑一下 Come on, 22. Think about it.
你讨厌音乐 直到你进入了我的身体 You hated music until you were in my body.
你讨厌一切 直到成为我 You hated everything until you were me.
我希望你喜欢它 I hope you enjoy it.
嗯 Uh...
我不得不问 狄更斯是怎么做到的？ I have to ask, how the Dickens did you do it?
通过得到那张地球通行证来改变？ Get that Earth Pass to change?
哦你知道吗 我我让她走 Oh. You know what, I... I just let her walk
穿着我的鞋子走一英里 a mile in my shoes, you could say.
好吧 奏效了 Well, it worked.
是的 Yeah.
好吧 你可能应该去超度 Well, you should probably get going to the Great Beyond.
嘿 嗯 我们从来没有发现22的目标是什么 Hey, um, we never found out what 22's purpose was.
不好意思你知道 她 呃 火花 - Excuse me? - You know, her, uh, spark.
她的目标是音乐吗？生物学？步行？ Her purpose. Was it music? Biology? Walking?
我们不分配目标你从哪里产生这个想法的？ We don't assign purposes. Where did you get that idea?
因为我有钢琴 Because I have piano.
这是我天生要做的那是我的火花 It's what I was born to do. That's my spark.
火花不是灵魂的目标 A spark isn't a soul's purpose.
哦 你的导师和你的激情 Oh, you mentors and your passions.
你的目的你的人生意义如此简单 Your purposes. Your meanings of life. So basic.
不不不 No, no, it...
哇 Wow.
是音乐我的火花是音乐我 It is music. My spark is music. I...
我知道它是 I know it is.
我不好 I'm no good.
我没有目标 I got no purpose.
没有目标 No purpose.
G先生 Mr G?
库里 我做到了我准备走了 Curley, I made it. I'm ready to go.
你太迟了 伙计 You're too late, man.
我和多萝西娅谈谈 Let me talk to Dorothea.
不 不 不 伙计她没有演奏 No, no, no, man. She don't play that.
这些说唱歌手的举动就像一群疯子一样 These rappers act like... Who let this lunatic in here?
听着 你得再给我一次机会 Listen, you gotta give me another chance.
这是我的乐队我决定谁演 This is my band. I decide who plays.
如果你不跟我一起去 And if you don't go with me,
你将犯下职业上最大的错误 you'll be making the biggest mistake of your career.
哦耶？为什么？ Oh, yeah? Why's that?
我在这个星球上的唯一目的就是演奏 My only purpose on this planet is to play.
这就是我的本意没有什么能阻止我 It's what I was meant to do. And nothing's gonna stop me.
好吧 你不是一个自大的人吗？ Well, aren't you an arrogant one?
我想你真的是爵士乐手 I guess you really are a jazz player.
告诉罗伯特他出局了就现在 Tell Robert he's out. For now.
不错的西装 Nice suit.
做好准备 乔·加德纳 你的生活即将开始 Get ready, Joe Gardner, your life is about to start.
欢迎来到四重奏 Welcome to the quartet, Teach.
那是我的乔伊！ That's my Joey!
好秀！最后一个独奏很棒 - What a show! - That last solo was brilliant.
那太精彩了！ That was amazing!
我不会再为你报道那座桥了 I'm not gonna cover that bridge for you again.
哇！稍后 G先生 -恭喜 - Whoo! Later, Mr G. - Congratulations.
你做得很好我们爱你 You did great. We love you.
我为你感到骄傲 乔伊 I'm so proud of you, Joey.
要上床睡觉了我们老了 Gotta get to bed. We old.
你演了100场演出 其中一场宛如杀手 You play 100 shows, and one of them is killer.
今晚你会心满意足的 You don't get many like tonight.
是的 Yeah.
那么 接下来会发生什么？ So, uh, what happens next?
我们明天晚上回来 再来一次 We come back tomorrow night and do it all again.
怎么了？ What's wrong, Teach?
为这一天我等了一辈子 It's just I've been waiting on this day for my entire life.
我以为我会有所不同 I thought I'd feel different.
我听过关于一条鱼的故事 I heard this story about a fish.
它游到一条老鱼旁边说: He swims up to this older fish and says,
“我要找到他们称之为海洋的东西” "I'm trying to find this thing they call the ocean."
“海洋？”老鱼问 "The ocean?" says the older fish.
“你现在就在海洋里啊” "That's what you're in right now."
“这儿？”小鱼说“这儿是水 "This?" says the young fish. "This is water.
“我想要的是海洋” "What I want is the ocean."
明天见 See you tomorrow.
嗨 老兄不好意思 - Hey, man. - Sorry.
也许看天空是我的火花 Maybe sky-watching can be my spark.
或走路我真的很会走路 Or walking. I'm really good at walking.
这些真的不是目标 22 Those really aren't purposes, 22.
那只是正常的生活 That's just regular old living.
乔？ -嗯？ - Joe? - Huh?
乔！ Joe!
天哪 伙计你在这做什么？ Good heavens, man. What are you doing in the zone?
月风我搞砸了我需要找到22 Moonwind. I messed up. I need to find 22.
恐怕她会成为迷失的的灵魂 I'm afraid she's become a lost soul.
-什么？ -我会在路上解释 - What? - I'll explain on the way.
当你们俩都没有回到半音符时 When neither of you returned to The Half Note,
我怀疑出了点问题 I suspected something had gone wrong.
我回到这里 那是我发现她的时候 I came back here, and that's when I spotted her.
迷失的灵魂被某种使他们脱离生活的事物所困扰 Lost souls are obsessed by something that disconnects them from life.
现在22这样生活 她已成为其中的一员 And now that 22 has technically lived, she's become one of them.
那里！不错的表演 - There! - Good show.
22！ 22!
准备上网一我去 - Ready the net. - I'm on it.
她发现了我们！ She's got us!
月风！ Moonwind!
船长总是随船而下 A captain always goes down with the ship.
一直是 It has been a...
22！ 22!
回来吧 22是我 乔 Come back, 22. It's me, Joe.
放松点22 Easy, 22, easy.
我只是回来给你这个 I just came back to give you this.
放松 Easy.
22 听着回来！ 22, listen. Come back!
为了纠正我们心不在焉时犯的错误 And for correcting our absent-minded mistakes
并校正设置计数 and setting the count right,
特里 我们将向你颁发这个奖杯根据你的要求 we are awarding you, Terry, this trophy. As you requested.
我很高兴接受我要求的这一非常特殊的奖项 I am happy to accept this very special award I requested,
但是我绝对值得 but that I absolutely deserve.
乔·加德纳？ Joe Gardner?
我将把它收回 And I'll just take that back.
嘿 Hey.
菜鸟！你不属于这 Oi, noob! You're not where you belong.
嗯 Uh...
22 停下我有件事要告诉你 22, stop. I have something to tell you.
停下不 Stop that. No.
22 22!
哇 小心！ Whoa, watch out!
慢慢来 Take it easy.
在那儿 -不用害怕 - There, there. - There's no need to be afraid.
别担心冷静 Don't worry. Calm down.
你必须停下拜托 You have to stop running. Please.
22 停下 22, stop.
22 我错了 22, I was wrong.
拜托 你听到了吗？你已经准备好生活了 22 Please, will you listen? You are ready to live, 22.
我还不够好不不 I'm not good enough. Nope. No.
不我只需要填写最后一个格子 Nothing. I just need to fill out that last box.
22 22!
你不诚实 You're dishonest.
你所做的一切都是错误的决定 All you make are bad decisions.
你是不明智的 你不会在世界上做到 You are unwise and you won't make it in the world.
你真自私 You're so selfish.
没有人会想和你在一起 No one would ever want to be around you.
失败者 Loser.
哦 世界需要杰出的人才 Oh, the world needs remarkable people
而你是我见过的最不平凡的灵魂 and you are the least remarkable soul I've ever met.
你将永远找不到火花 You'll never find your spark.
不客气 Imbecile.
我不能帮你 I cannot help you.
22 22!
我只需要填写最后一个格子 I just need to fill out that last box.
我根本不够好 I'm not good enough at all.
你将永远找不到火花 You will never find your spark.
毫无意义 There's no point.
那些不是目的 白痴 Those aren't purposes, you idiot.
那只是正常的生活 That's just regular old living.
这是浪费时间 This is a waste of time.
你有那个徽章是因为你在我体内 You only got that badge because you were in my body.
这就是为什么你毁了一切 That's why you ruin everything.
因为你没有目标 Because you have no purpose.
不不不 No, no, no.
毫无意义 There's no point.
你将永远找不到火花 You'll never find your spark.
因为你没有目标！ Because you have no purpose!
我不好不 I'm not good. Nope.
不我只需要填写最后一个方框我放弃 Nothing. I just need to fill out that last box. I give up.
你准备好了吗？ You ready?
额 Huh?
来活着吧 To come live.
我很害怕 乔 I'm scared, Joe.
我还不够好 I'm not good enough.
无论如何 我从来没有得到过火花 Anyway, I never got my spark.
你做到了 Yes, you did.
你的火花不是你的目的 Your spark isn't your purpose.
当你准备生活时 将填上最后一个框 That last box fills in when you're ready to come live.
而且 事实是 And, the thing is
你的爵士乐很棒 you're pretty great at jazzing.
但是乔 But, Joe,
这意味着你将无法 this means you won't get to...
没关系我已经做到了 It's okay. I already did.
现在轮到你了 Now it's your turn.
我会和你一起去 I'll go with you.
你知道你做不到 You know you can't do that.
我知道但我会尽我所能 I know. But I'll go as far as I can.
嘿！看一看！ Hey! Take a look!
哇！ Wow!
加德纳先生？ Mr Gardner?
怎么？ Yes?
你有空吗 Do you have a moment?
我想我代表所有的杰瑞说声谢谢 I think I'm speaking for all the Jerrys when I say thank you.
为什么？ For what?
我们从事灵感工作 乔 We're in the business of inspiration, Joe,
但是我们自己却不能受到启发 but it's not often we find ourselves inspired.
嗯真的？ Huh. Really?
因此 我们都决定再给你一次机会 So, we all decided to give you another chance.
希望你会观察从现在开始的行进路线 Hopefully, you will watch where you walk from now on.
但是特里呢？ But what about Terry?
我们和特里一起解决了 We worked it out with Terry.
嗯真奇怪 Mm. That's weird.
嘿 特里 那边是什么？ Hey, Terry, what's that over there?
马上看 Look immediately.
什么？你在说什么？ What? What are you talking about?
没事你在说什么 -嗯？ - Oh, nothing. You were saying? - Hmm?
你在说话吗？我不记得了 Were you even talking? I can't remember.
没关系 Never mind.
好？ Well?
谢谢 Thanks.
那你认为你会做什么？ So what do you think you'll do?
你将如何度过一生？ How are you gonna spend your life?
我不确定 I'm not sure.
但我知道 But I do know...
我将珍惜每一分钟去活着 I'm going to live every minute of it.
嘿！电影结束了 Hey! Movie's over.
回家吧 Go home!
我去哈莱姆区 没问题 # I go to Harlem, it's no problems
现在每个人都向女王的国王鞠躬 # Now everybody bow down To the Kings of Queens #
我们将会再次相遇 # We shall come around To touch eyes again
如果爱是基础 # If love is the foundation
如果生命的目的是循环利用 # If the purpose be To recycle life
我向你保证我会带我们到一个 # I promise you I'll bring us to one
流血的心到底到了现在 # Bleeding heart in the end now
虽然我们分离 # Though we're apart
真正的爱是怎么开始的 # How true lovin' began
现在 爱 # Now, love
爱 # Love
爱 爱 # Love, love
在谈论爱情 # Talkin' about love
爱 # Love
爱 # Love #
名字很饶舌 # Rappin Ced is the name
你应该选对了 # And you should get it right
像炸药一样在现场爆炸 # Blowin' up on the scene like Dynomite
乔伊在钥匙上 KP和汤米和我在一起 # Joey G on the keys KP and Tommy with me
你想赌多少 # How much you wanna bet?
我们可以拿下整座城市 # We can take the whole city
你看到我们打扮得漂漂亮亮的 # You see us stylin' from the island
一路到BK # All the way to BK
摇摆乐响起来 但是我们把它带走了 # Boogie down made the sound But we took it away
我去哈莱姆区 没问题 如果你明白我的意思 # I go to Harlem it's no problems If you know what I mean
现在每个人都向女王的国王鞠躬 # Now everybody bow down to The Kings of Queens #